Continuing my short review for 2014 movies, these are the non-contenders. For most of them, it was incredibly easy to figure out why.

Contenders Reviews can be seen here

Oscar Race 2015: Short Thoughts on 2015 Films

Guardians of the Galaxy Deserving of all the accolates and good will it received. Subversive, a game changer, and fucking lots of fun.

The Giver From the first few frames, it was apparent that it would be the worst movie of 2014. The Giver gave a movie with the worst acting of the year as well. Who thought this would be a good idea? As if it recycled the images from Samsara and built the lamest of plots around them.

22 Jump Street The best part was the credits: partly because of the bits on how a a Jump Street sequel could be bad and partly because the movie was over.

Think Like a Man Too Dawdled on scenes that someone thought would be entertaining, but ended up being tedious. Kevin Hart makes it not a complete waste of time.

Pride I love this British movie about miners and the LGBT community because I love when people work together. I cry when I see that. Incidentally Imelda Staunton was in another movie where people worked together and I cry all the time when watching it–Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Neighbors Funny premise but ultimately a joke that’s lost its way to the punchline.

Transformers: Age of Extinction For a series that Mark Wahlber called the greatest franchise in history, this was apocalypse to it.

Captain America: Winter Soldier Good movie with great action scenes. Ending and bad guy reveal didn’t live up to the rest of the film but overall an entertaining romp.

Maleficent Angelina Jolie is magnificent despite the awful direction. MORE HERE Awards Season 2015: Is Jolie Cursed by Disney

X Men: Days of Future Past The first scene is phenomenal. The rest of the film can’t sustain the high adrenaline value because it tackles too much and jams too much in.

Amazing Spiderman 2 That it didn’t register a larger blip on the radar is a shame, but the movie does suffer from a lack of heat.

Godzilla For a monster movie, it sure didn’t have much of the monster. God-awful. MORE HERE Godzilla MoFu MUTO

The LEGO Movie Loved it. Not Everything Was Awesome but pretty close. Screenwriting was smart and rebellious which made it uniquely entertaining.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Didn’t crack a shell as a hit or a bomb. Could have used a little more humor, a little more action.

Divergent Ughh! Theo James’ charisma can’t save this movie.

Ride Along Surprising how well it worked. Chemistry between Kevin Hart and Ice Cube made up for the deficiencies in the script.

300: Rise of an Empire Complete waste of time

Pompeii Other than looking at Kit Harrington’s body, there wasn’t much to look at.

Noah Production design was remarkable but ultimately contributed to the lack of emotional punch.

Tammy There should be a law against Oscar winners being in crappy movies. This one has 2 Academy Award winners and at least 4 Emmy recipients.

Edge of Tomorrow Interesting premise but because the aliens didn’t drive the story and failed to register as a significant threat.

Non-Stop Fast paced with good ideas and execution. Some of the plot twists may be far-fetched but always maintained involvement.

Heaven is For Real The God of Quality has forsaken this film.

God’s Not Dead He may not be dead but in the making of the movie, he sure was. MORE HERE God’s Not Dead is God Awful

The Other Woman I liked the premise and while the execution wasn’t the greatest, I laughed at times.

Jersey Boys Proof that Clint Eastwood’s mental faculties are on the decline because he sure wasn’t in his right mind when making this. Multiple characters breaking fourth wall may have worked for stage but it’s downright maddening on film.

The Monuments Men Poor marketing led to the movie getting lost in the shuffle. It deserved better.

Hercules Dwayne Johnson should be more selective. The movie needed steroids.

Son of God A Terence Malick wannabe telling of the Jesus story. The heavy-handedness and cheap look probably drove people away from religion.

Robocop Uggh!

A Hundred Foot Journey Enjoyable, heartwarming, but poorly marketed. Odd that along with Million Dollar Arm, there were two good movies about Desis that didn’t do well because of misleading marketing.

Dracula Untold Luke Evans went back in the closet for this? Not a train wreck but pretty close.

I Frankenstein Poor Aaron Eckhart. Good thing he’s talented or he’ll need Dr. Frankenstein to revive his career after this junk.

Muppets Most Wanted Renders the franchise lifeless for another ten years.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit Ehh.

Blended It could have worked if the movie wasn’t Sandler-ized. Terry Crews is plain awful. MORE HERE Blended Mixed With Wrong Ingredients

Million Dollar Arm Underrated but also poorly marketed.

This is Where I Leave You And the point is…If you have Tina Fey in a movie, have Tina Fey in your movie. The exception is when there’s puppets in the movie as well.

3 Days to Kill Largely unforgettable.

Transcendence A great idea goes awry.

Draft Day Mildly entertaining but relies too much on the milieu and not enough on the story.

Labor Day Involving but with an awful title and poor marketing plan, audiences had a stay-away-cation.

Sabotage, Winter’s Tale, Anchorman 2, Torture.

Bad Words The base story and Jason Bateman were fine. The kid was remarkable. But the movie’ digressions detracted from the enjoyment. MORE HERE Good Words for Bad Words

Let’s Be Cops Let’s make-believe this is funny.

Into the Storm After figuring out where you’ve seen a couple actors, you’ll be wishing for zombies and Julia Louis Dreyfus for the first 40 minutes.

If I Stay So thankful that between Redbox and the library, you never have to pay to watch bad movies.

Skeleton Twins The journey wasn’t worth it but I got into it at the end.

Left Behind I thought The Giver was bad. This is clearly the worst movie of the decade. Awfully directed and moving at a snail’s pace, the only reason to remake this is to eclipse the scourge of the earth known as Kirk Cameron.

The Equalizer Slowest action movie I’ve seen. The first hour was set up. The 2nd hour was illogical because Denzel and the bad guy could have had it out long before the finale. Who cares who they are and what’s behind their violence. Let’s see some guts and glory.

Earth to Echo Novel idea, but found footage style is a complete bore.

As Above, So Below All docu-style and found footage films should have an MPAA warning that the films will be boring.

Locke Shut it off. 16 minutes, and it felt like 3 hours.

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