I hate The Walking Dead.

I used to be a huge fan but Scott Gimple has ruined the fuck out of the series. He is the Joel Schumacher to the show.

I’m not talking about the content. So [SPOILER] Glenn died. Okay, I can deal with that. But it’s the onslaught of simple sentence structure dialogue that is annoying, sentences embedded with supposedly multiple meanings and deep philosophical motivations behind them. I cringe every time he writes or I should say, ruins an episode. And whomever directs the episode buys into this faux Epic-ism of the script. Every single episode the showrunner has written I’ve hated. And believe me, it’s really noticeable. If you DVR the show, you’d be prompted to scroll back and find out who wrote this shit. And it turns out it’s Scott Gimple.

Sample dialogue as Glenn gasps for air to talk to Maggie while his head is dented down the middle with his eyeball bulging out, “Maggie, I’ll find you.”

Who fucking says, “I’ll find you.”

Three years, man. Three years of dreck.

I dread watching The Walking Dead now.

And how about the season 7 premiere which was an hour-long paean to the Saw movies. Actually the Saw movies were more entertaining than this fucking shit.

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My friend, Michael Hornbuckle, made a stop-action video that’s way better than anything Gimple can come up with: The Walking Dead Done Right.

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